Andrea
I'm a third generation North Chicagoan. My grandfather came here first by way of a cousin… from Port Gibson, Mississippi. I’m not sure, but I think 1954. He brought his wife, which is my grandmother. That's how my roots here got started. I'm 61 and I've been here all my life except for two and a half years. Me and my first husband, we got married, but that's a long story…
I was 21 and I was going to CLC (College of Lake County). Loving it and doing everything that mom said I should do. I didn’t know how to drive, and mother said “Look, I'm going to show you how to catch the bus. I'm going to show you where to go. I'm gonna show you where to stand. I'm gonna tell you what time.” I didn’t know, and she gave me details.
So I took public transportation to get to CLC, and went there probably about a year and a half. Then guess what? Somebody's having a baby. I'm pregnant. I had a steady boyfriend. Oh, I loved him very much. The greatest thing since candy, because I love candy. And so he says, “Well, we’ve got to do something.”
He was looking for a job and couldn't find anything, so he joined the military. He went into something called the infantry. I had no idea. I looked it up and I said, “Oh, my God, he’s putting his life on the line!” Eventually, he got settled in Colorado Springs. We joined him and stayed about two and a half years.
Colorado Springs is a beautiful place, but I knew in my heart it was time to go home. My grandmother had been in a tragic accident on Lewis Avenue; hit by a car. I was probably in my seventh month, getting ready to give birth to my second son when she died. I didn’t get a chance to go to that funeral. That made me even more so want to go back home.
You mentioned not driving a car when you were younger, suggesting that there was something…
Boy, you want to hear this story? Are you sure?
I was probably 11 or 12. Over there on Sheridan Road, we could hear the sirens. My little friend said “Hey, let’s just see what’s going on.” I didn’t really want to…
I lived on Kristan, and we walked up there to Sheridan Road. When I got there, I saw a car wreck. Later, the fire department said it was a military lady. She’d lost control and smashed into a pole. She was hollering and screaming and blood was dripping. And we saw it and we shouldn't even have been there, but I saw the blood. I saw her. It made a terrible impression. It was just us three, I guess they had more guts than me. It played in my mind over and over. That terrible woman screaming like that. It had an effect. But I never told nobody. I told them later, and then I got scolded for being down there.
Back in the 60s and 70s, we didn’t have the ID Channel [true crime documentaries]. You didn’t have all this gore on display. My eyes, looking at the blood dripping… it threw me for a loop. My fear was– that I didn’t want to drive.
Eventually, I had to learn. Years later. They laugh at me now: six times I've been to a driving school. Oh, that’s so funny to my brothers! Six times. And one time the guy, they took my money of course, but he told me: “You know what? You don't need help driving. You're just scared. You know what to do.” Six times I went to driving school and finished, over probably about 10 years. They told me each time, “Okay, you can do this. You can go down and take the test.”
But I didn't. Time passed.
Finally, one day, I did get the drivers license. When I got in the car with the driver instructor… he said “Okay, you ready?” I knew he knew I was scared. So he told me what to do and I had practiced this a million times, but I still didn't have guts. We came back [from taking the test] and I said to the man, “I need this license. I have kids at home. I need this license.” And he said, “Okay, I will give you the license. But you’ve gotta drive and you’ve got to practice. And you gotta get better.”
Like aversion therapy, to help people get past their phobias. The scenario was humorous to others, but the fear was very real to you.
And The only way I was able to overcome it was because me and my ex-husband, we were in a rough patch. And I thought, “This marriage is not working. You had better learn how to drive, Andrea.”
You can laugh about it now, but you overcame it. A triumph that took some time. Can you think of another example of something you’ve overcome?
Being 21, having a child. Oh my God, I was not prepared for that. And to give birth. Oh, my God. And I thank my son every day because of it. Me giving birth to him made me the woman that I needed to be. I was knowin’ nothin’ ‘bout having no baby. My grandmother was there with me and my mom, and my grandmother said, “You’re gonna have to stop screaming.” And I said, “I can’t!” But she kept sayin’ “You gotta bear down.” It comes in my mind every time– “Bear down.”
What kind of circumstances prompt you to remember your grandmother’s words?
When I started working, I saw people who’d stay in a job for years. Afraid to move forward. I wasn’t. I jumped here, and I jumped there. I think that’s where it came from: being a single parent, that “lion” in you. That “Nuh-uh. Don’t tell me you can’t do it. Yes you can. Just try.”
My first full time job… my husband worked there, and they hired me. They gave me a typing test and I didn’t even have the damn paper in there right. Along the way, they gave me a job and my confidence: they said, “Oh, you're doing good. You can do this.” That made me realize, oh, yeah, I can do this.
And I did not drive during that period. My husband took me back and forth to work. But I think when he stopped being that crutch…when you lose that crutch, you learn how to use both those legs. That's what really put the fire under me.
Later on, I was working for the Navy base in the accounting office. We had this supervisor, her name was– I’ll never forget it: Mrs. Jacquelyn Dixon. Her boss, the director, her name was Bertine Nixon. At that time it was hard for a Black lady holding these titles. She said to all of us one day: “You all do good work, but this is not where I want you to stay. If you go higher, you make my heart sing.”
That was my pass. I was in my 40s, somewhere near 45, and I went back and got my Associates Degree. I never realized I was so close. Four classes and I finished up. I was like, why did you wait so long? It wasn’t just the time, it was because of what she said to us. I had high regard for this woman because as a Black woman she was in a world she shouldn’t have been in, to break that bubble. She was smart as heck.
While employed at the Navy Station, I met my husband of 19 years. Three years ago, I retired from the Department of Veteran Affairs as a GS-11 Budget Analyst.
The person you are now; would you be as passive with yourself and your driving struggles as your family was with you?
Absolutely not. I was naive and sheltered. I would say to that person “Don't be afraid. Take baby steps. You can do it.” Nobody said to me: just take baby steps.
North Chicago. What is it to you?
I love this place because that's where you get your oatmeal and your grits. You know that feeling you get when grandma cooks real good? That's the feeling I get from this town. Oatmeal and grits with some sugar. No butter. Oh my god, so hot, and you eat it from the edge. Ooh!
My fondest memories are of our little block. We played jacks on the step. We played foursquare in the street. My grandfather and grandmother, they would leave the back door open. If we were hungry, we would go into the house through the back door, look in the refrigerator, have a pop or fix a sandwich… my grandmother would say “Have these kids been down here today?” We were eatin’ up everything. They didn’t care. It was just like that. My grandfather, my mother, my aunt across the street; they all had houses within the block. So what’s to worry about?
And North Chicago is a place of faith. I’ve never counted, but there’s got to be at least 11 or 12 churches in North Chicago. Even though these young people are not praying. Maybe they're not even going to church, but it's a place of faith; a belief that we can be better. I'm prideful, proud. No matter what they say about this town, it's gonna get better. My friends who I was around growing up together; when I started seeing them leaving, I’d say they got things mixed up. This is place of faith. We will not go down. We will rise again.
What do you see for North Chicago’s future?
The Great Migration: it took place. That’s how my grandfather and grandmother got here. With the influx of different nationalities; new ideas and new thoughts. It’s bringing about change, and I say it’s a good thing. Some people don’t see it that way, but me personally, I welcome diversity. I’m 61, I can’t say what the next generation may think, but that’s how I feel.
I'm seeing the new developments. I see new families coming in... In North Chicago, I see a black and white picture that’s starting to get color in it. Like a coloring book. I see it.
This conversation has been edited and condensed.